You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
