Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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