thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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