drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize