Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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