So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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