Ambien. No doubt about it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
