Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
