Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
