he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
