The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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