It's just like the Real World with babies
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
