i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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