haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize