She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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