the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
