I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
