Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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