I want to walk on stilts...naked
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
