I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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