Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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