there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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