my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
