I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
