If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
