I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize