So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize