i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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