We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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