So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
