You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
