He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
