Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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