Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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