At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
