are you still at the devil's house?
it was like eating out sand paper
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
