Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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