But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
