4 words: hood of his car
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
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EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
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It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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