Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
