you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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