this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
