drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
