I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
