thus making me awesome and them whores
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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