i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think i have two assholes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
