Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
