Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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