So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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