I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
