And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
