Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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