rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
