WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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