I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We're too hungover to prance.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
